Between the Rain
by Potluck1546
Summary: "Betty Speilsdorf seems like a girl firmly occupied with the world as it is. And Laura Hollis? Well, you aren't quite sure about her. But the more you talk to her the more you think that maybe she's the sort of girl who is occupied with all the different ways the world could be. You're not sure which is a better way to live."
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all, **

**Bit of an authors note before we get this going. This is my first foray into writing fics (and creative writing) in a good looong while, but I've had this idea kicking around in my head and decided to just go for it. **

**I wouldn't quite classify this as AU, but I am going to be adding a bit, and putting my own spin as an ex-pat during my formative years (ex-patriot for those not in the know), to this. One of the things I really love about Carmilla is the international school setting, and I wanted to try to flesh out and explore that in regards to how the characters interact with Silas as its own sort of cultural identity. **

**Anyways, this is pretty much gunna be a look at the first season of Carmilla in what my mind imagines to be Danny's perspective. I've tried to follow a very canonical time-line and framing throughout, but there will obviously be some liberties taken (isn't that what fanfic is for, eh?).**

**Without further ramblings, hope you enjoy!  
**

**CHAPTER I **

The first day and you're already running behind schedule. Freshmen are predictably nervous creatures, you like to get there early to open the classroom door so some poor student isn't nervously checking a campus map to make sure they're in the right place for 10 minutes.

God forbid any of them accidentally end up in the Library like last year.

There is always something different about the first weeks of school. Some old faces gone, new ones filling the study halls, classrooms, and dorms they once did. Silas can be a big, scary place, for a lot of reasons. In your 2 years here you had seen your fair share of weird, from the alchemy club, to the required readings on demon anatomy.

But, this is a place for kids like you.

Kids who spoke with accents from countries where they had never spent more than summer vacation. Kids who had lived on more continents than most normal people traveled to in their whole lifetimes.

You never realize the small common things that tie people together, until you don't have them anymore.

When someone makes a joke about a childhood cartoon that everyone but you has seen. When you go over to a new friends house and are accidentally rude to their families because you don't know better.

When every slight and subtle intonation of your voice marks you as someone who has never been in one place long enough to belong.

You may have had to avoid some rather aggressive and mobile mutant ivy by the green houses on your way here, but at least the only thing people considered strange about you in this place is your height.

You round the corner to your classroom 15 minutes before the scheduled start time and to your surprise an incredibly small brunette girl is nervously waiting by the door already, glancing between the numbered door plate, and what is obviously a class schedule clutched in her hands. You're rarely the second person there, and incredibly small seems to have been generous upon further inspection.

"English Lit?"

She's startled by your voice, and turns to face you with wide eyes.

"Oh, oh..um.. yes!" She smiles widely at you, tripping over her words a little. It's endearing, you catch yourself smiling a little at the flush spreading across her face. You're next to her in front of the door now. Standing mere feet from her you find yourself towering.

You bet her feet don't hang off the edge of her ironically named "_extra-long"_ twin provided by the school. That must be nice.

"Well then, you're in the right place." You can see her shoulder sink a little in relief.

"Thanks. This place is so huge, maybe I should have brought the GPS system my dad got me." You think she's joking from the small chuckle she punctuates her statement with. About using the GPS or the actual GPS itself you're not entirely sure.

"Don't worry, I was the same way my first year." you like making new students feel welcome. That's what this place for after all. You're both just standing in front of the door and she's staring up into your face with undivided attention.

She's cute.

You don't think she sees the keys your holding, "I can get the door for us…I just need to…" You trail off, gesturing vaguely at the door with your keys.

You need her to move, but you don't want to embarrass her.

"Oh! Oh! Yes! So sorry!" She's embarrassed anyway and shuffles a few feet back, tucking her schedule away in her bag so she has an excuse to stop looking at you. Her bag is overflowing with books. You've known a couple of your sisters to never even bother to buy the required readings for their classes.

Preparation. You like preparation.

You open the door and place your backpack on the TA desk at the front of the lecture hall. The small freshman girl follows you in and you find yourself pleased that she chose a seat in the front row directly in view of your desk. "I'm Danny Lawrence by the way, I'm going to be the teaching assistant for this class."

"My name's Laura. Hollis." Her voice is eager, pausing awkwardly in between her first and last name. You can see her mentally berating herself for shouting it as an afterthought, and once again you catch yourself smiling.

"Well Laura Hollis, welcome to Silas!"

* * *

It's the second day of class Wednesday. You're still in the awkward beginning days of a course where no one has read enough of the assigned material to have any real in depth conversations or lectures about it. In what you considered a misguided attempt to utilize all of the class time and "_get to know each other_", your professor had divided the classroom into smaller groups and instructed them to discuss some of their favorite books.

You circulate around the classroom, listening to the conversations and adding commentary when appropriate. Laura is in a group with two other girls and a Zeta Omega Mu meat-head you're familiar with. Laura had helped him with _Beowulf_, the classes' first book, the other day. If you call explaining to him what _Beowulf_ is help. The two other girls had both taken their turn and now frat boy is up.

Kirsch is his name you think, you know him from intramural sports mostly. The Summer Society and ZΩM have a historic rivalry in pretty much everything on campus. He's tall and broad, with a buzz cut and the maturity of a 14 year old. You think that Maddie, a sophomore sister of yours, was hooking up with him (in what you must assume was a moment of insanity) towards the end of last year.

You're sure this will be good, in the way watching people slip and fall in YouTube videos in good, and wander a little closer to hear.

"I don't, like, read a lot." Kirsch grunts out. "I'd rather be like, playing rugby or hanging with some hotties if you know what I mean." At this he gives Laura and the other girls an appraising look. What a creep.

You're about to step in and say something to the dolt when Laura pipes up. "Well, that is a shame because books are awesome! I'm mean, like, you get to read about places you've never been, things you've never experienced! Books are basically like magical wardrobes to whole other worlds!"

She's passionate. The way her eyes light up talking about the power of books. Laura has the most expressive face you've ever seen. You think it must be the sheer sincerity in her voice that keeps Kirsch from making fun of her. He probably didn't even pick up on the Narnia reference. It's hard to keep your mouth in a neutral expression, but you're good at fighting, so you manage.

"Yeah, well, not my thing tiny hottie." Another inspired response.

The professor interrupts the lecture you're about to give that idiot on the proper way to address his classmates. "Ok, so if you can all pull out your worksheets from last night on Chapter 1-6 of Beowulf! We can get started!"

After class you and the professor talk briefly about the next assignments and how he'd like these work sheets graded, by the time he leaves you look up to notice Laura Hollis slowly packing up the last of her things. She glances up, catching your eye, and immediately looks down again.

You wish she'd say more to you.

But you're Danny Lawrence, and you're a woman of action. "So Hollis..." She turns back from her escape. "I never got to find out, what's your favorite book?"

Whatever you were expecting, it certainly wasn't for her to squeak out, "_Alice in-Frankenstein-The Secret Garden_!" She stares at you, mortified for a long second before hastily excusing herself out the door.

You run a hand through your auburn hair, tossing the shorter strands that frame your face back and hoping your laughter doesn't echo from the empty class into the hall.

* * *

The next day you spot her across the quad faster than you would have thought. It's not like you were looking or anything. With your height it's easy to spot people in crowds. She is with a fairly tall blond girl, almost as tall as you, but not quite. She's everything Laura's not, you can tell from 100 feet. While Laura is all kaki and pressed oxford shirts, this girl is neon and glittering snakeskin.

They're making their way around the booths and tables that litter the quad, you can see Laura engaging with pretty much any booth she sees. She picks up pamphlets, talks to representatives. Although the chemistry and alchemy clubs explosive rivalry seems to frighten her. Blonde girl is not as interested, she makes faces and pulls Laura from booth to booth quicker than you imagine Laura's natural pace to be.

Once again Laura looks up to find you staring, and you wonder if perhaps she's nervous around you because you're always watching like a big weirdo. You can see her and blondie talking in hushed tones. Blondie glances to you before giving Laura a big smile and a shove in your direction. Both girls start to head over to the Summer Society booth where you're standing in your blue officers shirt handing out fliers, trying to recruit your next group of sisters.

It doesn't take them long to make it over to you. "Hi Hollis." Like not saying her first name will somehow make this more professional.

"Hi Danny" Another bright cheek splitting smile. You wonder if her face ever hurts from a smile that bright. "This is my room mate Betty Speilsdorf, Betty this is my English Lit TA Danny Lawrence."

"Nice to meet you." She offers you her hand with an impish smile. "So, will you be going to the quad mixer tomorrow? I'm trying to get Laura to go!"

Another freshman with one thing on their mind. "Yeah, me and some of my sisters are planning on going."

"Awesome! Well I think I see some Zeta eye candy I must introduce myself to! Maybe you can convince Laura to go!" And with a smile and a pointed look at Laura she was gone.

"Well, she seems friendly." You and Laura both watch her head over to the Zeta's table. You're glad Laura doesn't seem as interested in following her roomie to flirt with that group of gorillas. Those Zeta Omega Mu Mongrels are the worst.

"That's Bets for you." You can hear the fondness in her voice though, they're obviously pretty close.

You wonder about that. Laura seems like a sweet girl. She looks put together, and buys all her books ahead of time. She panics when you ask her favorite book.

Betty Speilsdorf seems like a girl firmly occupied with the world as it is.

And Laura Hollis? Well, you aren't quite sure about her. But the more you talk to her the more you think that maybe she's the sort of girl who is occupied with all the different ways the world could be.

You're not sure which is a better way to live. They seem to make an odd pair of friends, but you only just met them really.

"So, you're in the Summer Society?"

"I'm the vice president of outdoor recreation" You hand her a flier. Laura, while fit, hadn't really struck you as the type of girl that would be interested in joining. But you don't mind the excuse to keep talking. "We're sort of an all women's athletics club."

"That sounds really cool." you notice she tucks the flyer into the back pocket of her pants. Folding it carefully in quarters. It's nice of her to keep it. You're pretty sure you can spot at least ten in the nearest rubbish bin.

"Yeah, sort of the schools antidote to those Zeta idiots." You both laugh as you watch Betty and her growing crowd of Zeta admirers.

"Well I think we could use all the antidote you got for those guys. Ugh, speaking of which, I better go rescue Betty from their clutches. She seems to have attracted quite the pack." You could see their numbers were growing Betty now had a group of seven or eight Zetas all peacocking around her. Laura gives you a small wave as you exchange goodbyes and promises to see each other in class.

"Good luck!" You call after her.

Before she gets too far away she turns back with a much more confidant smile than you had ever seen her produce before. "So Danny, I never got to find out, what is your favorite book?"

"I've heard _Alice in-Frankenstein-The Secret Garden_ is pretty good." You can't help but tease her a little, "But my favorite would probably be _Pride and Prejudice_."

Your answer seems to please her despite the well-meaning jab, "_Alice in-Frankenstein-The Secret Garden _is a classic, but _Pride and Prejudice_ is a good choice too. Maybe I'll see you around at the party tomorrow night!"

This time you're the one left a little flustered.

* * *

It's finally Friday night and you're excited about the quad mixer despite yourself. Maybe you aren't the party animal some of your sisters are, but you like to have fun. You and a bunch of sisters are hanging out in the large living room while you wait on a few of your more appearance obsessed sisters.

You've never really been one for dresses and heals. Not to say you don't know how to clean yourself up, but for a college party you are much more comfortable in a pair of jeans and a flannel shirt.

Tonight their primping doesn't annoy you like it normally would, more time for drinking you suppose. Besides, all your sisters going to the party had decided to walk there together. Two girls had gone missing at parties during frosh week. Sure they had turned up a few days later, but they hadn't remembered anything of what had happened to them, and you weren't eager to be the one to find out.

Safety in numbers after all, right? The Society president had advised all of you to practice the buddy system at night, and try not to be caught out alone.

Summer Society is pretty much filled with all the schools female athletes and a few extreme sports hobbyists'. Regardless of athletic interest, they all had a similar competitive spirit.

Which is how you've found yourself embroiled in a drinking game called centurion. You've tried to explain to Tamsin and Gemma that drinking a shot of beer every minute for 100 minutes isn't so much a game as it is an endurance test, but there was very little reasoning with them on this matter.

With the last beers finished and the lip-gloss applied, you all finally slip out into the night. It's warmer than usual, even with the dark clouds obscuring the moon above you. Summer is when you get the most rain in Styria. No rain tonight, you can feel it as you take a moment to ponder the clouds.

Or maybe that's just all the beer talking.

"Danny come on!" Elsie is shouting back to you. She runs back, blond hair glowing in the dull orange lights that illuminate the old brick campus at night, and pulls you to catch up with the rest of your large group.

You all arrive at the party and proceed to go off in different directions. Some girls who hadn't partaken in the thrilling game of centurion were getting drinks from a keg the Zetas had brought (At least they're good for something), while others seek out friends or more-than-friends. You, Elsie and some of your other sisters and teammates are catching up towards the edge of the party.

The night feels hotter than when you first set out. Maybe you'd have been better off with a t-shirt.

You're not sure what your friends are talking about. You're attention is on the dance floor, looking low in the spaces she would occupy between the taller moving bodies. Then the small groups talking around the edges of the dancers like you are.

Maybe she's getting drinks. You don't know if she drinks.

She did say she might be here though.

"Oooh, out on a _hunt_ are we?" Elsie elbows you low in the ribs with a raised eyebrow, teasing you with a bit of Summer Society slang as she surveys for whoever it is your looking for. You and Elsie were in the same pledge class, friends from the beginning of your time at Silas. You doubt Elsie would even be able to see tiny Laura through all these people.

"Shove off Elsie" You push her back. "I'm not looking for any sort of _prey_. A girl from my Lit class said she might be here is all."

"Mixing business and pleasure Lawrence! For shame!" She mockingly admonishes you, waving a finger up at your face.

"Oh shut up, she just said she might be here with her roommate, so I thought I'd look. I'm just trying to be welcoming." You think it's flimsy, but the beer is telling you it's a fine excuse.

"I'm sure you're being very welcoming Lawrence. In fact, I think I'm going to go be welcoming to a new girl as well." Her eyes seem to have come to a stop on a black haired girl across the quad and she gives you a wink before taking off. "Later Danny. Don't wait up!"

"Yeah, yeah. Be careful!" The warning you always give your sisters when you leave them at parties. Though the girl Elsie is making her way over to seems to be just as interested in her. She's hot; even from a distance made hazier by beer you can determine that much. But, her body language is intense, predatory. The way she moves as she introduces herself to Elsie, shifting along like an oil slick on water, makes you shudder.

"Geez, maybe it's a good thing I don't run into Laura." You think to yourself, returning to your conversation with friends. You've clearly had too much to drink if you find the girl Elsie is hitting on frightening.

Regardless, you think you've probably had too much to drink anyway and are glad you don't have practice tomorrow.

There's shouting to your right. You can make out a group of what looks like Alchemy Club creeps all gathered around a large metal barrel. One of them, short with glasses that looked too low on his crooked nose, pulls out a small blue test tube and proceeds to pour it in the tub.

You're not even sure why they come to these parties, probably just to conduct whatever weird experiments they've cooked up. And right on cue a thick, rolling grey fog pours fourth from the barrel, eliciting cheers from Alchemy Club members gathered around.

The Fog is fast, and it envelops the party in a matter of seconds. You can barely see five feet in front of your face, enough to keep talking to the people in front of you, but that's about it.

For a party of intoxicated late-teens and twenty-somethings you guess five feet is all they need because all the partygoers do is cheer over the loud pulsing music.

So much for finding anyone tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER II **

The rest of the weekend passes by uneventfully. You're predictive abilities prove true, and you spend most of Saturday in bed cursing whichever one of your sisters talked you in to drinking so much.

Sunday is spent as your Sundays often are; track practice in the morning, work in the afternoon. You watch the rain falling outside and it feels familiar and right, the steady rhythm of a new year.

Laura misses class on Monday.

It's still too early to judge is she's one of those girls with a loose definition of attendance, but she didn't come off that way to you. Maybe she's sick or something happened at the party Friday night? Maybe you should email her? Would you do that for any other student?

Kirsch's empty seat gives you that answer. You'd never think of emailing him for missing a class. Though, you're not at all surprised that Kirsch has a loose definition of attendance. That's probably why he's a sophomore taking an introductory English Literature class.

If she misses Wednesday's class you'll email her. Two classes are harder to catch up on.

You're rationalizing, but the nagging voices that try to remind you of that fact are easy to push aside.

* * *

The President of the Summer Society, a senior named Marie, calls a meeting Wednesday morning. You're all gathered in the living room and girls are everywhere: the floors, the couches, sitting on the old brick fireplace and standing around the edges of the room spilling into the hall. You're a junior officer, so you get the great honor of a spot on the couch towards the center of the room where Marie is conversing lowly with the clubs Vice President, Ida.

You wonder what this meetings about, Summer Societies weekly meeting is usually Thursday nights. Maybe someone threw up in the showers after the rush party and you guys were going to have another talk about "respectful community guidelines". Marie liked things a certain way, but you have got to hand it to her; the Summer Society house had never looked better. Its not like it was the Zeta's pigsty over here, but girls aren't always as clean as you'd think.

"Ahem" Marie coughed loudly to get everyone quite and paying attention. "It seems as though all who could make it are present. Firstly, me and your VP Ida would like to say that if anyone would like to talk further about the announcement we are going to make, we will be having extra office hours after the meeting and throughout the week."

She seems nervous. Her hands are clasped and anxiously twisting over each other. What could they possibly be about to announce? We aren't getting on probation again because someone stole the Zeta's ceremonial trident are we? You feel like you would have heard about something like that beforehand. Hell, you feel like you would have been the one responsible for something like that.

"Our sister, Elsie Schäfer, left Silas University last night. The school has investigated and said that she appears to have left campus of her own volition and will not be returning."

It feels like the world is blurring together. The soft white of the walls runs through the red of the fireplace, till all you see is the meaningless contrast of white on white. You can hear voices coming through, muffled at first, far away, then louder and louder. The cacophony brings you back.

"Excuse me! What do you mean gone? She's gone missing? Like those other girls?!" You're standing up now. You don't know how that happened. Marie and Ida aren't small by any means, but they take a step back out from under you.

It suddenly hits you from the looks on their faces that you're shouting, probably the loudest they've ever heard you, intramural games against the Zetas included.

"Danny, she isn't missing, the school has already investigated and determined that she just left. I'm sorry to have to tell you all like this." Ida jumped in for Marie who seemed overwhelmed.

"Screw that!" You're still shouting. "She would never just leave like that."

You had just seen her Tuesday morning. You'd asked her how it had went with girl at the mixer Friday, you can't remember many details about her now (turns out a game of centurion can make details a little fuzzy). Elsie had only said with a coy smile that ladies don't kiss and tell, but that she had seen her again since the party. She'd asked you to come to that rush party last night for new Summer Society pledges but you'd declined, worksheets to grade and your own homework piling up.

"Danny, stop! I know this is hard on all of us, but the school says there's nothing more to do." Marie has her president voice on; you know that this portion of the conversation is over.

You've grabbed your bag and are out the door before any of them can stop you. You don't remember when your brisk long strides turned into the steady gait of a run. But you're running now, running as fast as you've ever run before.

Vaguely you wonder how you must look to the other students passing around you. As a member of the track team it wasn't unusual to catch Danny Lawrence training around campus at all hours, but jean shorts and a pull over are not your typical run attire.

You come to a stop eventually, somewhere on the outskirts of campus by the athletic fields and the woods. There's never any one around here at this time of day thankfully.

You're chest is heaving. Air rushing in, air rushing out. It never feels like enough for you to catch your breath.

Marie and Ida had accepted this. Your other sisters probably would soon too. The school obviously didn't care.

Elsie is your sister, your friend.

_You_ should be doing more.

Every free second you have that day is spent writing down any thing you can relate to Elsie's disappearance.

* * *

You turn off the handle of the shower, finally rid of that God-awful salted herring smell. The scents and sights around you are unfamiliar. There's something light and floral, bright, but not sweet like honeysuckle or cherry blossoms. It wraps around you, in your hair from the shampoo you borrowed and in the loaned towel you have around your body. The more you dry off, the more in envelops you.

You live in a house with a bunch of girls, but you can't think of a single one who smells like this.

There's another smell as well, as you put back on your jean shorts and a borrowed baseball tee. It creeps its way in, weak but persistently lingering. It's sandalwood and cedar, the way granite smells after the rain. Rich. Heavy. Immutable. It feels like it's smothering the flowers, taking the light they need to thrive.

You can't think of a single person who smells like that either.

You can hear Laura outside the door now that the shower is off. She seems to be talking as if to a group of people in the room, snarky quips about the town hall meeting laced with her growing outrage. You run the green and white-stripped towel around your hair, back to the smell of sky and sunshine and away from the cold caverns of the earth.

The shirt barely goes past your elbows, and you wonder off handedly how it must fit on Laura. "I think I got the worst of it out." You exit the bathroom, back into your hosts' presence. "Thanks for letting me use your bathroom." You don't want to seem ungrateful.

"Oh, yeah. Totally." She sounds nervous, like she hasn't exhaled fully. It's probably from all the crazy you just experienced. Silas can be overwhelming. "Sorry about the general level of filth. My roommate is kinda relaxed about hygiene."

"Oh, no. Don't worry about it." You try to reassure her by changing the subject, hands still working the towel methodically through your auburn hair. Once again wispy summer clouds and flowers fill your nose. You remember the other scent in the bathroom. "So, your roommate was the one who was glaring at us on the walk back, right? With all the eyeliner?" Laura nods back to you. You hadn't really liked how that girl had looked at you. You hadn't really like how she looked in general and you figure she must be the culprit. "So where'd she go?"

"She dematerializes within twenty feet of unwashed dishes." Laura laughs at her own joke. Pushing a strand of hair out of her face.

You flip your head over and your eyes catch the blue light blinking from the top of Laura's laptop first, then shift down to the small image of yourself and Laura moving along with them on the screen. "Oh. Hey, are you making another video? Like, eight hot seconds after almost being busted?"

One time your younger brother got caught stealing some candy from a high street corner shop when he was six. You think Laura might just look slightly guiltier than he did then. "Uh, yes."

"That's pretty ballsy, Hollis." She keeps surprising you, and you find you're enjoying it immensely.

"Yeah, ballsy! That's me. Besides, LaFontaine thinks she's figured out a way to post them safely, and I have got to report on the crazy at the town hall, right?"

"Yeah." You're not sure what she should or shouldn't be reporting on. But you think to yourself that you might just agree with anything she says to see her smile like this more often.

"Uhhh, but before I do that…" Laura grabs a stool and brings it to the desk. "Hey, everyone, meet Danny Lawrence!" You sit down and flip your hair away from your face and give the camera a smile, you're not quite sure what to do with your expression. You turn to Laura to get some hint, but you have to drop your gaze six or eight inches to look her in the eye. "Should we…?"

"Yeah." You agree again, standing up to switch chairs. You seem to be doing a lot of agreeing where Laura Hollis is concerned.

"Okay. Uh, my very awesome English Lit TA and VP of outdoor rec for the Summer Society which is… an outdoor social club for all girls athletics?" You hear the question in her voice; she wants to make sure she explained it right. You probably shouldn't be this happy that she remembers the inane details of your life, but you are.

"Uh, yeah. We host the school's annual Adonis Festival and Hunt." You add on, more for something to say than anything else. You should definitely take broadcast journalism off your list of potential careers. "Uh, hi, Laura's audience. It's nice to be here."

"Well, I wouldn't say that I have an audience yet. But it is nice to have you. Here. Have you here." She has hazel eyes. You accidently get caught up trying to find every sliver of gold hidden in the green.

"So, the town hall! We're all packed into the auditorium and the dean stands up, and holy crap, is she six feet of power suited, middle aged glamazon and says:" Laura lowers her voice, over annunciating every syllable. You can't help but laugh at how spot on it is. "It has come to the attention of the university that a certain individual or individuals are circulating rumours about students disappearing. Rest assured, if these disturbances do not cease, the perpetrators will be dealt with."

Her impressions make you smile.

"At which point, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna get expelled, because nobody is saying anything, probably because they're afraid she's gonna suck their souls out through their eyeballs" The Dean is pretty fucking terrifying, you don't really blame anyone for staying quite. "But then Danny gets up and just…"

"No, it really wasn't that big of a deal." You cut her off. It really wasn't a big deal and Marie is probably going to have your head for it later.

"Yeah, it was." She sounds in awe and you don't really know what to do or say.

Elsie. Elsie is still missing. After the dean spoke you knew more than ever than no one was looking, no one cared. "I simply wanted to point out that you shouldn't be calling a missing persons report rumour when one of our own member went missing at a rush party."

"See? Totally amazing." You find the gold in her eyes again. "Amazing as in just, like, a really brave person who stands up for people who can't stand up for themselves. Like, that kind of amazing."

"Thanks." It's not like you haven't heard that word before. Amazing athlete. Amazing student. The things you do are amazing, but amazing person? You're not quite sure what to do with it. "You know, not that it meant much after the Zetas started in on that safety patrol crap."

Laura really is great at imitations. Hearing such a low register come out of such a small, sweet girl would be enough to coax a laugh out of anyone. "Uh, the obstreperous brothers of Zeta Omega Mu have decided that is uncool that hotties might feel unsafe going to parties or making their walks of shame at 4 AM, and as so have decided to personally protect any coed 7.5 or higher."

"Which is just a faux chivalrous way of oppressing the female student body." The Zetas drove you crazy. "We should be reinstating our night marches." When you were a freshmen there had been a student movement about safety on campus, but the administration had quickly squashed that out.

Come to think of it, the administration shut down a lot of things in your time here.

"Uh, completely" Laura laughs again. "But when Danny and the Summer Society suggested that, the alchemy department started freaking out because apparently, that's gonna" She doesn't drop her voice this time, but it's nasally and undulating, from the very back of her throat. "ruin some mycological transitions."

"They are such weird little creepers!" You've been asked to have electrodes stuck to you while you run one too many times to be okay with the Alchemy club. Something about human physiological responses to induced stressed? You can never get what those nerds are talking about. Tutoring from Perry's friend Lafontaine had been the only reason you passed your mandatory science requirement your first year.

"And then the Zetas piped in with this chant that pretty much sounded like pizza or death."

"And then some idiot started throwing salted herring into the crowd." Seriously you have no idea what it is with those Zeta's and the damn salted herring. You've woken up to the summer society lawn covered in it on more than one occasion. Which was fine since you then organized a rotting salted herring bath for a couple of the Zetas you knew had done it. The administration had only stepped in after it escalated to a campus wide herring brine filled balloon fight.

At the reminder of the fishy sniper Laura joins your laughter. "And then, the dean ended the town hall before anybody could actually talk about anything! Ugh!"

The frustrated little face she makes nearly kills you. For all the staring you feel you've gotten away with tonight, you know you're caught this time. She's staring right back. A silvery speck deep in Laura's hair saves the day. "Just… I'll take that out…"

"Ugh… Thanks." She smiles warmer than coco and it burns low and hot in your body. "I thought I got them all out. The meeting may've sucked, but I'm really glad I ran into you."

"Yeah, me too." And you are. More glad than you want to admit. But you remember the meeting this morning. Elsie. Elsie's gone and there is too much white, and never enough air.

You feel breathless again in this room with Laura, but it's different. The ground is still under you this time and for a crazy millisecond you think you might be able to do this, together.

"You know, we should collaborate. Compare notes. You know, figure things out. You can document the investigation for your project here. I think we'd make a pretty great team." What you really think is maybe you sound too eager.

"Yeah, a team! You and me, absolutely." Laura sounds just as excited as you, and that's a relief.

"Cool." You stand up to go. "Well, I'm gonna go get my notes on our missing sister, and I'll see you later."

Laura follows you to the door carrying her stool back to the window. "Sure."

It feels good to be doing something, anything really. And it feels better to be doing it with Laura. "Okay."

"Okay. Bye!"

You can hear her call to you as you head down the hall and you don't really care how much trouble you're in for back at the house.


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER III **

Laura is monologueing again, recapping what appears to be a very willing audience. Some of your sisters had approach you asking about what Laura was doing, and why you were helping her, but you didn't really have much to tell them. You have to find Elsie, but it's more than that now, there are lots of lost girls and people who want them back. You and Laura had to do this, for all of them.

"I can barely believe this. I mean, when I put the videos up I thought there might be a few of you who had seen the weird and wanted to help, but the fact that there are so many of you… I mean… I'm overwhelmed. We're gonna figure this out. And of course, when I say we I mean" You mostly just turn the camera as way of introduction, you still don't really know what to do with yourself on camera."Danny and I!"

You turn back to the board, going over the hastily sketched diagram you and Laura had just completed. Her roommate (Carmilla you're pretty sure) gets up from her bed where she'd been reading since you got here.

"We have been working nonstop and, not that we're geniuses or anything, but I think we're really close to a breakthrough."

"Oh no, I totally think we're geniuses." The more time you spend with Laura the easier it is to open up. You have a dry sense of humor, and it's gotten you in trouble before. But Laura seems to understand your sarcasm and even find it funny.

Carmilla however, makes a gagging sound in the corner. "Oh, sorry. I just got really nauseous all of a sudden."

Carmilla hasn't offered so much as a whisper of help since you and Laura had started working. Only skulking on her bed reading some ridiculous philosophy book. There had always been something about Carmilla you didn't like. Maybe it's the way she looks at you; or maybe it's the way she looks at Laura, more than anything you think it's probably because she comes off as an arrogant jackass. You've never heard Laura say a single complimentary thing about her. You hate people enamored with their own intelligence.

Carmilla was the type of character that people found fascinating in books, but insufferable in real life.

"Oh, that's too bad. Maybe you should lay down." It comes out normal, but you're sure Carmilla will get your meaning. The "rock on" symbol and smug face as she slouches back to her cave proves that. Stuck up, self-important, and by all of Laura's accounts lazy. Yeah, not your type.

You walk over to the desk where Laura is still facing the camera and lean down, you figure she'll probably edit this part out anyway. "So, she's kind of intense."

"Yeah. You have no idea. But we're not here to get hung up on my jerkface roommate."

You love the way her face expresses every word she says. You've never met anyone who wears their emotions more openly. In a world of subtleties and nuance her sincerity is refreshing. In Laura's world yes means yes, no means no, and when someone says "I'm going to take on my whole colleges administration and solve this mystery to save my roommate" they mean it. You like Laura's world.

"You're totally right." There is work to be done; you need to pull your head out of the clouds.

"Okay." Laura prods you to start.

"Okay" You go over to the board again, rehashing the details you haven't stopped going over in your head since Elsie vanished. "As far as we know, we have four missing girls. All have disappeared at parties. Two have reappeared. And both with no memory of what happened."

"Exactly. But all the disappearances aren't all the same, either." Laura picks up after you "Sarah Jane and Natalie were having those super creepy dreams and we don't know if Betty or…"

"Elsie."

Elsie. Elsie. Elsie. You keep saying it over and over, like a prayer; you'd say it forever if it would bring her back.

"Elsie, were having them and nobody else got a weird card or an elbow full of proto-shiitake goop."

The way she annunciates shiitake goop is enough to make you laugh. "I wish I'd gotten to see that.

"You really don't, actually." Maybe she's right, you're not sure you want to see mushroom sludge, but you do wish you could have been there for Laura. You found out your friend was missing in a room full of your sisters, a cushion for the blow. You may have ran from their support, but you knew it was there if you wanted it. You can't help but be sad thinking about Laura, waking up with no idea what she was about to discover. New places can be lonely, and the first person that makes you feel connected to a place is unique. No one knows that better than the kids who find their way to this place. "So, can we think of anything else that the girls or the parties have in common?"

You work, and you work, and you work. It's tedious and frustrating. There is so little information. It's not like you're private investigators or anything. All you have is the ghosts of memories from people at the parties and a short time line leading up to the last instance the girls were seen.

Laura is the first to crack, and she even does that adorably. "I think my brain has melted."

"It's okay." It's not like you're doing any better. You feel exhausted in a way running never makes you. "We'll get you some carbs, some caffeine, you know, come at it fresh-"

"Ooooh! Oh my gosh, I am a terrible host!" She startles you rushing over to her minifridge. "I haven't even offered you anything to drink or a snack. Would you like a snack? I have… peanut butter, grape soda, snack cakes."

You get put on a pretty strict diet for track season, and with all of your sisters being athletic health nuts you think you'd have a better chance of finding a Zeta in the Summer Society house than a grape soda. "Oh my god. How are you even alive right now? You know all that stuff is filled with polysyllabic chemicals." You had managed to retain a few vocab words from those tutoring sessions with Lafontaine.

"I know, but it's also really delicious. And chocolate is comforting in the face of epic failure."

"It's not epic failure!" It really sort of feels like epic failure, but you have people counting on you. Maybe you should have some chocolate, you hadn't had sweets since those glowing candy bugs for the Rush Party. Somehow you had ended up responsible for picking them up from the Alchemy Club and you figured sneaking one or two was fair compensation.

"We have been at this for ages and there is just nothing." Laura keeps talking, but a thought has begun to form in the burnt out puddle of your mind.

"Hey…" The Alchemy Club! Why hadn't you thought of this before? Your sisters on the swim team had not stopped talking about the Fizzy Dagons they'd had at the Under the Sea party. "Not nothing!" You're racing over your words now "Okay, look at this. Okay, all four girls go missing at parties, right? The under the sea swim team party, the Summer Society rush party, the north quad mixer, the psychology wine and cheese…"

"All different events, planned by different groups…" She doesn't see it yet.

"Yeah, but look at the party gear!" She is still giving you that blank look. "Okay, at the… uh, at the swim team party, small drink cauldron of Fizzy Dagons. At the wine and cheese, a three foot volcanic replica with melted brie. At the Summer Society, bioluminescent candy bugs. And at the north quad mixer…

"Party fog." She gets it now.

"All provided courtesy of…" You lead with a big smile.

"The alchemy department. Wow, the glee club is really different her, huh?" You think Laura probably doesn't have any idea how different Silas really is. Sometimes you're not even sure you do. "So, you think someone from the alchemy club is taking girls?"

"It's thin, but it's a start… Watson." You throw the Sherlock reference in to see her smile. Too bad grumpy Elvira had to butt in.

"Have you even seen those lab rats you're accusing? Most of them couldn't carry off a Twizzler." You're not sure why she's choosing now to start making suggestions.

"She's right." You hope that's the last time Carmilla is right about anything. "Maybe we should talk to Sarah Jane and Natalie again, see if anything jogs their memory…"

"Oh, great, another visit from Miss Madness and Terror. That'll be a blast." Carmilla has a way of making everything sound like the biggest inconvenience to her life.

You manage to stop yourself from saying anything nasty back and go to text Natalie instead.

* * *

You may not have been friends with Natalie, but this is not what you were expecting when you and Laura invited her over here to talk.

You're standing by the door with your back to the dresser fidgeting with a pair of sunglasses. Natalie, in a sequin tank top and jean shorts so short you can see the lining of her pockets out the bottoms, is rambling to Laura in front of the desk.

"Oh my god, this is so awesome! So, are you like, gonna put this on TV or something?"

"No… Are you feeling okay?"

"Oh my gosh, yes! I've never had more fun in my life." Seriously, what the hell is going on? Laura seems just as confused as you are. Carmilla is sitting on her bed once again, but watching this play out with a grape soda. You'd swear Natalie was wasted or on something, but she didn't smell like alcohol and her eyes were alert and focus, pupils a normal size.

"Okay, because the last time we talked you were a little freaked out, you know? About the time that you were missing and the dreams…" Laura tries to lead her back to a helpful conversation.

Natalie cuts her off rapidly. "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. That was scary, but so glad that that's over." She stops her haphazard dancing for a minute. "Hey, do you guys, like, have any coolers?" All you and Laura can do is shake your heads. Carmilla's gone back to pretending to read. "No, no? Okay, anybody wanna do some table dancing? You?" She asks Carmilla, who barely looks up from her book. Then Natalie's sights set on you. "No? You?"

"No…" You're shaking your head but she's still coming over to you.

"Come on, hot stuff." It's not like this has never happened before. You're tall, athletic; girls have been known to make some pretty aggressive passes at you. She has your hands and is pulling your back from the wall. "I know you like to dance…"

"No…" You try to snake out of her hands and back away with your arms up. Maybe she'll cut it out if you keep denying her "No, no, no, no."

Laura just makes a face at the camera.

You and Laura get the brilliant idea to ask Sarah Jane if she knows what is up with Natalie, but that doesn't go like you planned either. When you opened the door to a giggling mess in a pink shirt and black booty shorts clutching to Kirsch like a horny monkey you knew whatever it was you and Laura were looking into was a lot weirder than you had anticipated.

Kirsch brought his friend Will along, and you recognize Will mostly from the things he wasn't part of rather than the things he was. Unlike most Zetas who you knew from school or intramural sports, Will didn't participate much. He had never really been a part of any of their prank wars and you didn't think he'd ever been involved with any of your sisters. At least Will was keeping Natalie occupied and off of you.

"You're tall. I like you." SJ's voice was saccharine, and everything sounded like a question with the way her voice went up at the end of her sentences.

"How long has she been like this?" Laura tries to ask Kirsch, who although an idiot normally, seems to be acting like himself.

"Oh, don't get jealous, little nerd- Laura," You're head swivels back from keeping an eye out for Natalie (Will might not have a reputation, but you never know), but Kirsch has already corrected himself. "just 'cause Sarah Jane stole me away from you."

"Alright, first, ugh. Secondly, I-" Laura tries to get control of the conversation again.

"Okay, no. Don't be mean to my boo." Sarah Jane stretches her hand out in front of Laura's face to cut her off. "He's nice. He made me hot chocolate and he's gonna take me to the party. Yeah?"

"Next week." Kirsch agrees with a dopey smile.

Seriously, what the hell was happening to these girls?


	4. Chapter 4

**So, this is where things are going to start going off canon-ish a little more. Hopefully there are some people out there enjoying this, but I'm having fun getting back into some writing regardless. **

**CHAPTER IV**

You had been the one to volunteer to check out the Alchemy Club and try to get some more information. Laura had, of course, wanted to come along, but you managed to convince her to let you handle it. This whole thing was starting to get weirder by the day. One step forward, two steps back. You hated it.

With the way Natalie and SJ were acting would Elsie even be the same person if you could find her and bring her back?

Was it already too late?

You were skulking around the science buildings looking for anyone you recognized from the Alchemy club. So far, nothing. You can feel the pressure building in your shoulders and neck, going up into your jaw and temples. Probably not good to be clenching your teeth so tightly.

All of a sudden this had become a race, and you feel like you're hours late getting off the starting blocks.

"You're fast though. You'll catch up, you'll find her." You have to.

Students pass you by, some alone, others in groups. They laugh, they joke, they bitch about classes and exams, and why hasn't so-and-so texted them back.

Was it only a few days ago that those were the same thoughts that occupied your mind, the same troubles?

A short boy with glasses hanging off a crooked nose steps out of a classroom and heads down the hall. Your eyes follow him, hunting for the memory you need. Him by a barrel, pouring whatever started the Fog.

The last party you went to with Elsie.

It's hazy from the alcohol you'd had, but you know it's him.

He cuts down a staircase and you don't hesitate to follow him down into the basement, to a room at the end of the hall with the symbol for the alchemy club on the door. When you slip in you see him hunched over a desk scribbling in a notebook, and pausing to take measurements from a sample of what looks to be some sort of fungus.

"Hey" He dropped his ruler and spins around with a small yelp. Maybe you should have started with something better. "Are you in the Alchemy club?"

He pushes his glasses up his nose, reaching for the dropped supplies. "Obviously, do you need something? I didn't think the Summer Society had ordered anything for any parties?"

Maybe you should be more surprised he knows you're in the Summer Society, you certainly don't think you've had any classes together, and it suddenly hits you that you're here to accuse a fellow student of abducting girls and you kind of wish you'd thought this through a little more. "No, not about stuff for a party… I was wondering.. umm.. well…".

Is there even a polite way to go about this?

"Look, is this important?" He cut you off, fidgeting with the ruler in his hands. His tone clipped and annoyed. "I'm kind of in the middle of a very sensitive mycological experiment."

Is this important? Is this important? Is this important?

You feel your vision wavering around the edges, shapes and shadows running together. Long legs sure do make it easier to cross a room in a hurry.

You're in front of him now, he's a small thing, and you can feel yourself bearing down over him. "What does the Alchemy club have to do with the disappearances of four girls on campus?" It's out of your mouth before you have time to stop and realize how crazy you must sound, cornering a scared, small boy in a dark basement, yelling accusations.

"Excuse me?" he backs away, "the Alchemy club didn't have anything to do with that."

"What's your name?" You've backed him into the end of the table now. Everything is still hazy, like you're watching from a far off place. Watching yourself intimidate and threaten, eyes narrow, mouth snarled.

Vague thoughts float across your mind, objections and fears. But your ears are pounding, and you feel like the tightness in your chest, the unwieldy beating of your heart, might last forever.

"I don't think that's any of your-" He's brandishing the ruler in front of him, a sword to slay the approaching beast. Like a small piece of plastic will stop you.

Like anything would stop you.

You grab the ruler and snap it in half, letting the pieces fall to the floor. "Name!"

"Alexander! It's Alexander!" His words sound more like frightened squeaks now.

Is this important?

"Well Alexander, let me explain how I see it." Your voice is low and threatening, pinning him in place as much as your body is. "The Alchemy club was at all the parties the missing girls went to last, it's the only common thread. Now I may not be a scientist, but doesn't that seem suspicious to you as well?"

"The Alchemy club does things for a lot of parties, that's no reason…."

You're grabbing the collar of his shirt and you notice his toes are just scraping the ground now. "Let's try this again, Alexander."

It this important?

When you emerge out of the dark cloisters of the basement, it's with a zip drive and new hope clutched in your scuffed, trembling hands.

* * *

The adrenaline hasn't worn off enough by the time you get to Laura's room, but walking in on Laura and Carmilla staring and smiling at each other while Laura holds out her wastebasket manages to slow your thoughts a little. It does nothing for the brutal tightness in your chest.

"Hey… guys. I return from the Alchemy department victorious." Victory is the only thing you're going to allow yourself to take from that basement, the shame can stay buried there.

"Wait, they are the ones behind it, taking the girls?" the skepticism is there, but you can also see her excitement, genuine hope, and maybe you should have phrased that better, because your own hope is starting to feel more like desperation with each passing day.

"Oh, no. More like they're the ones using dander collected at parties to seed an immense interconnected fungus throughout campus…" You ramble off. You can still feel the tense pull of your muscles, the anxious energy.

"I'm sorry, what now?"

"Apparently it's a communications experiment. Or maybe a very complicated risotto recipe." You don't want to think about Alexander squealing out information while you held him up by the neck, instead reaching for your small token of justification. The pounding in your head and heart had made all the science jargon even harder to understand. "I don't know. That's not the victory part. These creepy little proto scientists have been photo tracking every party on campus for their documentation."

It's weird and invasive of them, and you shouldn't feel bad for what you did. Besides some tears and rumpled clothes, you'd left Alexander in that basement in the same shape you found him.

"We have pictures of every party where the girls have disappeared?" Laura understands. She knows how big of a break this is for the two of you, for Elsie. She'd understand.

Is this important? You hear it echo in your thoughts still. Is this important?

Hell yeah it is.

"And we can track all the girls through all of them! Danny, you are brilliant."

"I like the sound of that." And you do, because the way Laura looks at you almost makes you feel like everything will be okay.

Fake coughing cuts through the moment. God forbid Carmilla let you enjoy anything without adding her snarky commentary. "Sorry. I just forgot that I have to be anywhere but here."

You can't control yourself as she shuffles out the door. Carmilla can't take this away from you; you won't let her. "Oh, that's too bad. No, come back."

"Don't." Well, that's something new.

"What? Why not?" Carmilla is the worst kind of person, and today you have no patience for her apathy, not when you were trying so damn hard.

"She's just had kind of a rough day is all." The simplicity of it gets you. Leave it to Laura to even see the good in someone as self-centered and rude as Carmilla. She'd understand.

"Oh, no. You are entirely too sweet." The moment of normalcy is a breath of fresh air after today. It seems like such a long time ago when you were just hoping to run into Laura outside of class, to have an excuse to talk to her, and now here you are tangled in this huge crazy mess together.

"Yeah, yeah. Come on. We have hundreds of photos to sort through. Well, that is going to be incredibly boring."

And it was an incredibly boring amount of time later, but you think you've finally found something useful, but upsetting (to Laura at least). She'd drifted off on her desk maybe an hour ago, occasionally muttering nonsense in her sleep.

"No, I don't… I see the goldfish…"

Nonsense exactly like that. She looks so adorable sleeping there. It's nice to have a moment to quite your thoughts. And after this latest clue, your thoughts needed some quieting. You only wish you could see her eyes again. Be able to get lost in them without feeling like every second is stolen time. "Hey, Laura. Laura. Laura, you're dreaming." She just looks so cute, and your finger gently brushes against the tip of her nose before you can think better of it.

"Whaaa! I'm awake." Shit, not the reaction you were hoping for. She's startled and scared, and you want the ground to swallow you whole for so many reasons.

"Don't bite my head off or anything." You hope you don't sound as defensive and embarrassed as you do in your head. You need a distraction and in your only stroke of luck that day you have a big one waiting on the screen in front of you. "Okay, no, but I think I found something."

"What? Where?" There's that hope again, but you know Laura isn't going to be as happy about this discovery.

"Okay, look: Elsie. The sister who's missing?"

"Mhmm." She follows you to the picture on the screen, staring intently.

"There she is at the party. And take a look at who's with her." You're not sure if you should be surprised on not yourself.

"Holy crap. Carmilla."

* * *

"Are you okay? Did they try to get in?" You're out of breath, hair wild, hands scrambling to lock the door behind you.

"Who are 'they'?" She sounds more confused than scared and you remember back to that first meeting in her room. Always surprising you.

"The Zetas. They were trying to walk the women's swim team home from the gym, but then one of the girls called us for help. But then someone shoved someone, and now it's turned into this big turf war over who'll protect the gym or the track or who knows what else! I didn't know if it made it this far." It had been messy, even by Silas's standards; things hadn't gotten this out of hand in a long time. You can still hear the shouts outside. From here it almost sounds like a real battle. In this quite moment, where you finally feel like you're breathing again, it almost feels like one too. "I had to know if you were okay."

"Oh, wow. That's… Why are you wearing war paint?"

Why are you wearing war paint? When had that happened? You have the vague recollection of one of your sisters rubbing smears here and there with some of the splattered paint from the guns, but it feels far away once again. Everything had happened so fast. You had thought you buried that feeling in its tomb in the basement of the science building, where it belonged.

Knocking at the door saves you from having to answer, but you're not sure the voice you hear on the other side is worth even your salvation.

"Hey, little nerd! Laura! Are you in there?" The last thing the tempest between your ears and your lungs needs right now is having to deal with Brody Fucking Kirsch.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me" She gets up like she's going to let him in and you can barely believe it. Hadn't she heard anything you said?

"Laura? Laura! What are you doing?!" Kirsch is just as big as you, you won't be able to just overpower him like you can do with others. Like you did with Alexander. You need an element of surprise.

"It's only Kirsch! We're fine." Only Kirsch? He's the enemy, he's a Zeta, he's one of the guys you fought through to get to Laura. He's the kind of guy you'd been protecting yourself and your friends from all your life.

"I was really worried about you because-" You manage to get a hold of the sensitive shell of his year before dragging him down to the bed. "Whoa! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"

"Danny, geez!" She looks scared, and shocked, and that just makes you want to hurt Kirsch more because Laura can't look at you like that, she has to understand or this feeling in your head, and your heart may never go away.

"Come on! Why are the hotties in this room always trying to hurt me?!"

"Karma?" You supply the answer for him. You know Kirsch, you know what kind of guy he is. He's the same as the spoiled, entitled jerks you've been going to private schools with all your life. Lives of no rules, and fewer consequences.

"Uncool, Summer Psycho. Not a Mark of Kingsberry rules." Psycho, you wonder if you lost your mind if you'd even recognize it. Right now it didn't feel like just your mind that you were losing.

"That's boxing, dumbass." You almost feel like telling him it's The Marquess of Queensberry rules, but you can't deal with him right now. Not with your fist too tight and your eyes too wide, and too much pressure and regret coursing through your veins. Laura's still looking up at you like she's never seen you before, and you need her to just stop. "I can't believe you let him in here. For all you know, he was trying to take this dorm for the Zetas!"

"Hey, we're just trying to protect hot people." He tries to justify, tries to reason. For all you know it's the Zetas doing this to the girls on campus, maybe some kind of date rape drug thing. Those pictures with Carmilla didn't really prove anything.

"The only threat to the girls in this dorm is you and your fratdaddy friends." You feel yourself moving again; from his position sitting it almost feels the same as the basement. Kirsch doesn't look scared of you though, abstractly you think that should make you feel better about the whole situation, instead it just adds fuel to the fire burning between your lungs, trapped by the cage of your ribs.

"Okay, maybe we should just…" Laura tries to calm things down. In a sort of detached way you can feel this getting out of hand. Kirsch is standing up and you can see his shoulders set and muscles tense almost as a mirror of your own.

"That is unfair, okay? 'Cause I'm here out of the, like, bro-ness of my heart, alright? I'm not even trying to hook up 'cause I got a girlfriend, alright? So why is everyone so pissed at us because we're trying to keep the campus safe?" His voice is getting louder, and you can feel your hands itching to reach out and just force him to understand. Could you beat and break the truth into his skin? He couldn't understand being afraid wherever he went on campus, afraid of all of his friends being hurt or disappearing. Never coming back the same, or never coming back at all.

"Because safe for you goons does not mean safe for everyone else!" It's loud and angry and not at all in control.

Laura's objection barely register now, nearly silent, like the soft cry of a dove wanting to be heard through the screeching of hawks. "Okay, no, no, seriously…"

"If you weren't such a hottie, you'd be in big, big trouble."

It's enough to break you and your hands collide with his shoulder. "Bring it, popped collar." You're not sure if you mean it as a challenge or a threat, but there is paint on your face and dirt on your hands and you just desperately need to make someone understand.

Is this important?

"Okay! Stop it! Stop it, both of you! I get it. You both wanna protect the campus. So, has it even occurred to you that while you're duking it out, nobody is actually out there protecting anybody at all?!"

She's disappointed, and annoyed, and you've never heard her direct that tone of voice to you before, Carmilla maybe, but not you. "But he's the one who started-"

"He started it?! Really?!" Okay, so maybe that had made you sound like childish.

"We totally didn't start it!" At least Kirsch wasn't making himself look any better either.

"Not helping! All I'm saying is that the actually useful thing to do might be to skip the smackdown in the middle of my bedroom and go talk some sense into the idiots setting fire to security carts over who gets to protect people."

You can feel your head hang and for the first time in days the fire burning in your chest seems to have been quenched. The soggy, smoking remains feel even worse than the flames.

"I knew from the first day of English Lit that you were smart." Kirsch's chastized puppy look as he turns to you doesn't make it any better. He doesn't deserve to share anything with you, not your duty, not your anger, not even your shame. "She is so smart."

"Yes, she is."

"And a hottie. That's-"

Can never manage to keep it clean, can he? "Aaaaand it's time for you to go now." You force Kirsch from the room, and you feel like you need to force yourself out with him. "Laura, are you sure you're gonna be okay by yourself?"

"I'm fine. Besides, she doesn't know that I know anything. I should be worried about you, turf war and all." The genuine concern in her voice feels like a salve you don't deserve.

"Ah, it's mostly just paintballs and anchovies. I'll talk them down."

"Take care!"

You know she doesn't mean it as a warning, but it's starting to feel like maybe she should.


End file.
